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Funny This or That Questions

Ellie Lusk avatar Curated by Ellie “The Player of Games” Lusk · Updated July 2026

Regular this or that questions reveal preferences. Funny ones reveal character — because the person who confidently picks “sweat mayonnaise” over “cry hot sauce” has told you something no personality test ever could.

These 80 pairs are engineered for laughs: absurd dilemmas, awkward moments everyone secretly knows, food crimes and full chaos mode. Answer instantly, defend loudly, judge freely.

Ready? Tap the button and let the game begin. 🎉

How to Play Funny This or That

  1. Read a pair out loud — everyone answers immediately, gut feeling only.
  2. The rule that makes it funny: you must be able to defend your pick if challenged. “I just would” is not a defense.
  3. Group chat version: post one pair a day and watch the 40-message argument unfold.

👇 All 80 questions below — steal freely, no sign-up needed.

Ridiculous Dilemmas

  1. Fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?
  2. Talk like a pirate all day or walk like a crab all day?
  3. Only whisper or only shout?
  4. Hands for feet or feet for hands?
  5. Be three feet taller or three feet shorter?
  6. Sweat mayonnaise or cry hot sauce?
  7. A tail that wags when you’re happy or ears that flap when you lie?
  8. Sound like a robot or move in slow motion?
  9. Always slightly damp or always slightly sticky?
  10. Birds narrate your life or squirrels judge your outfits?
  11. A personal theme song you can’t turn off or a laugh track after every joke?
  12. Eat soup with a fork or cereal with chopsticks?
  13. Every door is a push-or-pull mystery or every chair is slightly wobbly?
  14. Your phone autocorrects everything to insults or your alarm is a recording of your own snoring?
  15. Sneeze like a foghorn or laugh like a dolphin?
  16. Ride a shopping cart everywhere or an office chair everywhere?
  17. All your shirts two sizes too small or all your shoes clown-sized?
  18. Speak only in movie quotes or only in rhymes?
  19. Fingers that smell like popcorn or hair that smells like bacon?
  20. Hiccups that sound like a duck or a sneeze that takes ten seconds to arrive?

Awkward Everyday Picks

  1. Wave at someone who wasn’t waving at you or call your boss “mom”?
  2. Trip in public gracefully or stay upright but yelp?
  3. Send “love you” to a client or “per my last email” to your grandma?
  4. Walk into a glass door or push a pull door for a full minute?
  5. Get caught singing in the car or talking to yourself?
  6. Laugh in a very quiet room or cry at a commercial in public?
  7. Say “you too” when the waiter says “enjoy your meal” or clap when the plane lands — forever?
  8. Hold the door for someone slightly too far away or let it close on someone slightly too close?
  9. Forget everyone’s name instantly or remember everyone’s name a little too enthusiastically?
  10. Phone rings at full volume in a meeting or in a movie theater?
  11. Toilet paper on your shoe all day or spinach in your teeth all day?
  12. Re-introduce yourself to someone you’ve met five times or have them re-introduce themselves to you?
  13. Text the wrong group chat or reply-all to the whole company?
  14. Loud stomach growl on a first date or in a job interview?
  15. Shirt inside out until noon or mismatched shoes all day?
  16. Start every sentence with “fun fact” or end every sentence with “allegedly”?
  17. A haircut you hate for a month or a nickname you hate for a year?
  18. A high-five that misses or a handshake that lasts too long?
  19. Your search history read aloud at dinner or your camera roll on the office projector?
  20. Sing everything you say for an hour or dance everywhere you walk for a day?

Food, but Cursed

  1. Warm juice or cold fries — forever?
  2. Defend pineapple pizza in public or never eat pizza again?
  3. Cereal with orange juice or fries dipped in milkshake — pick a lifestyle?
  4. Everything you eat slightly too spicy or slightly too sweet?
  5. Only crunchy foods or only soft foods?
  6. Ketchup on everything or ketchup banned forever?
  7. Permanent garlic breath or permanent coffee breath?
  8. Eat a whole lemon or a whole raw onion?
  9. Soup with a straw or steak with a spoon?
  10. Ice cream that never melts but tastes 10% worse, or perfect ice cream that melts in two minutes?
  11. Chips that are all edges or fries that are all ends?
  12. One flavor of chips forever or a mystery flavor every single time?
  13. Smell like fresh bread forever or never smell bread again?
  14. Unlimited tacos with no sauce ever, or one perfect taco per month?
  15. Sandwiches only cut into circles or pizza only cut into squares?
  16. The loudest crunch in a silent room or a dropped fork in a fancy restaurant?
  17. Wobbly restaurant table forever or menus with no prices forever?
  18. Birthday cake with no frosting or frosting with no cake?
  19. Every drink is 80% ice or every soup is lukewarm?
  20. Explain your snacks to a nutritionist weekly or to your grandma daily?

Chaos Mode

  1. A rewind button for conversations or a mute button for people?
  2. Know every song lyric but no names, or every name but no lyrics?
  3. Your GPS voice is your ex or your alarm tone is your boss?
  4. Win every argument but sound smug or lose every argument but seem lovely?
  5. Luck that only works on Tuesdays or charm that only works on strangers?
  6. A parrot that repeats your secrets or a mirror that gives unsolicited advice?
  7. Everything you type is ALL CAPS or all lowercase with no punctuation?
  8. Wi-Fi that drops during season finales or a phone that dies at 40%?
  9. Applause every time you enter a room or a slow dramatic zoom every time you make a decision?
  10. A pet that can talk but only roasts you, or plants that scream when they’re thirsty?
  11. Socks always slightly wet or phone screen always slightly greasy?
  12. Every red light turns green if you wave at it, or free parking forever but always the farthest spot?
  13. Sneeze every time you lie or hiccup every time you flirt?
  14. One free teleport a day but you arrive dizzy, or the power of flight at walking speed?
  15. All your dreams are musicals or all your memories have a laugh track?
  16. An umbrella that summons rain or sunglasses that summon paparazzi?
  17. Autocorrect from 2009 or paper maps forever?
  18. Your shower is always one degree off or your bed is always slightly crooked?
  19. Speak fluent whale at the aquarium or fluent pigeon downtown?
  20. Everything you lose turns up exactly one year later, or never — but you get $5 each time?

FAQ

What are funny this or that questions?

Either/or picks where both options are ridiculous — “sweat mayonnaise or cry hot sauce”. There’s no sensible answer, which is the point: the laughs come from watching people defend an indefensible choice with total conviction.

How do you make this or that funnier?

Add the defense rule: every pick must be justified out loud if challenged. The explanations are always funnier than the choices — someone will construct a full survival strategy for the hundred duck-sized horses.

Are these questions clean enough for any group?

Yes — absurd, not crude. They work for coworkers, families and mixed groups. For little kids we’d point you to our kid-specific list, which trades awkward office moments for dragons and candy houses.

Keep the Night Going

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